Synopsis
The bloody, raw meat was tantalizing her; calling to her. She hated it and yearned for it all at once.
Stop, she ordered. What are you doing?!
So hungryyyyy, snarled a primal voice deep within her.
Don’t you dare! she screamed back.
But the primal hunger ignored her pleas and took over her body, forcing her rational voice deep within the crevices of her mind.
What would you do if you discovered you weren't human? That you turned into a bloodthirsty monster against your will?
What if your instincts, emotions and desires were torn between your own and the dark, dangerous animal lurking inside of you?
If it could make you yearn for someone you shouldn't, make you say and act in ways you wouldn't and overwhelm your whole existence?
If everything you'd ever known about your life was a lie?
In a world where a deeply hidden community is swathed in mystery, deadly secrets, betrayal and murder, Jaz Barker struggles to fight against the dangerous Beast within her and the emotions and desires it thrusts her way.
When tensions ride high and people she cares about are put in danger, she will have to decide how much of her newly awakened animal-side she's willing to let in.
And if it is worth the risk...
Stop, she ordered. What are you doing?!
So hungryyyyy, snarled a primal voice deep within her.
Don’t you dare! she screamed back.
But the primal hunger ignored her pleas and took over her body, forcing her rational voice deep within the crevices of her mind.
What would you do if you discovered you weren't human? That you turned into a bloodthirsty monster against your will?
What if your instincts, emotions and desires were torn between your own and the dark, dangerous animal lurking inside of you?
If it could make you yearn for someone you shouldn't, make you say and act in ways you wouldn't and overwhelm your whole existence?
If everything you'd ever known about your life was a lie?
In a world where a deeply hidden community is swathed in mystery, deadly secrets, betrayal and murder, Jaz Barker struggles to fight against the dangerous Beast within her and the emotions and desires it thrusts her way.
When tensions ride high and people she cares about are put in danger, she will have to decide how much of her newly awakened animal-side she's willing to let in.
And if it is worth the risk...
Excerpt
She turned away in embarrassment, closing her eyes. They flashed open in astonishment when she felt the bed dip down and his warm lips on hers. She stared at his face as it touched hers; his eyes closed tightly as if savouring the sensation of her lips entwined in his. He kissed her once and paused, his gaze fixed on her lips as if waiting for her reaction.
She should have pushed him away and maybe topped it off by shouting a bunch of swearwords that would have given a nun a heart attack. But she didn't. She didn't stop him.
She didn't resist.
Jaz realized that was the answer he'd been waiting for when he kissed her again, gently and slowly, caressing her bottom lip between his.
Her response was subtle at first; shy and uncertain. Then after the second kiss made her body weaken and yield to him, she slowly released the tension in her neck, letting her head dip back into his palm. Her eyelids closed, allowing him to take her; enabling herself to give in. She answered him with her own sensual, desiring kiss. His became stronger, and hungrier and she accepted it, opening her mouth wider until they weren't holding back anymore.
For a minute, they were lost in each other's lips. Nik's hands cupped Jaz's face as he knelt on the edge of the bed. Jaz's fingers slithered down his back and over his shaven head. The tiny bristles sent tingles through her fingers that shot through her body, concentrating in her groin.
But then she saw a flash of Lora's face in front of her; saw her anger and pain, and the magic disappeared like a balloon popping.
She released her kiss and pulled back, slapping him across the cheek. He flinched back, his eyes shiny with desire as he stared at her. She gasped putting a hand over her open mouth. She didn’t intend to do that; her hand moved of its own accord.
He did not react like she'd expected. He stayed calm. In fact, he left her even more shocked as he pulled her into him, kissing her again. She didn't give in so easily this time and pushed him away in irritation, though her body was betraying her, wanting to kiss him again.
He gripped her shoulders and kissed her tenderly once more before she turned her head away. He waited. She kept her eyes focused on a blank patch of wall, then shut them with shame. When she felt his warm hand brush her chin and cup it, turning her face towards him, she had to meet his gaze.
Oh my god, what have I done? She cursed herself. Why can't you keep your feelings to yourself? Why can't you understand that he's not who you should like? Don't you realize that every day he'll see Lora in you? He'll compare you to her?
She wished her first thoughts were for Lora, not herself.
How awful the idea that Lora was cursing her somewhere for stealing her man. How cruel it was to kiss the man her twin sister had loved, had conceived a child with, and would still be with now if she hadn't been killed.
Would Nik have still remained with Lora, had he met Jaz when Lora was alive? Would his feelings for Jaz have outweighed his feelings for Lora? And, the worst, most treacherous question of all... Would Jaz have kissed him if Lora were alive at this moment?
She was afraid the answer was yes. She would never forgive herself if that was the case.
Despite all those things, her first concern wasn't about the one thing that mattered: Lora; her pain, suffering and silent jealousy. Instead, Jaz's thoughts were completely selfish. She loathed herself because of it.
“We can't do this.” She stared at him with hard eyes. “Ever.”
He watched her with an intensity that made the heat in her body rise again. Her determination withered. She inched back even further, unable to trust herself.
“I loved Lora,” he said. “So much so, it felt like I died and went to hell when she was taken from me.”
Jaz felt like a weight was on her chest. Blood pulsed in her temples, causing a sharp pressure in her skull.
“But I feel like I could not live... if you weren't in my life.”
Jaz didn't realize her mouth was hanging open until she pressed her lips together.
“Does that make you uncomfortable?” He seemed a little too amused by the idea. His words came out almost as a tease.
She paused, unblinking. “A little.”
“Well, I don't care,” he said firmly.
She gaped at him.
“I'm not going to kill myself by treading on eggshells around you anymore. I've tried that. This is what I feel. You can take it or leave it. I'll be damned if I'm gonna feel ashamed about it, or feel like some awkward inconvenience to you.”
She stared at him unable to work out whether she was angry or stunned or flattered or offended.
“If I had a choice,” he went on, “I would spend this time prying your true feelings out of you, but there are important things to discuss. This can wait.”
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